Days of remembering

I tried gypsy tart today at a pub near us for lunch. It was the first time I had eaten it since primary school (I believe) and it was disgusting! Maybe that is why dad used to forbid it growing up! I couldn’t finish it, which is unlike me. It brought back the fact that there was little food that was refused us; we were encouraged to eat up, to enjoy our food and to have second helpings.

It may be that I am rebelling against the idea of ill health and the genes which I probably share; screaming out in protest and eating high-cholesterol food right now as often as I dare, “I’m safe! You can’t hurt me! I am too young for blocked arteries!” and then I whimper back into my fear of the sugar, fat, processed junk…

I remember being able to eat a number of McDonalds hamburgers and cheeseburgers at closing time at university with my friends (midnight), or taking a trip 10 miles for cheap pizzas – 16″ with all the toppings for a fiver. Those were the days. I finished university a size 18 for graduation, but got down to a 12 for the wedding day. Now I’m stable at a size 15 (if no shops start selling clothes which fit these in-between sizes, I may be forced to start my own chain in the future).

I remember hot hot burn your teeth tomato soup with dad at fireworks nights, when I was younger than the ‘upper third’ he taught. I remember sausage casserole, dad’s lasagne, coq au vin, pasta, mum’s excellent crumble (home grown), those amazing Sunday roasts where we each sang a part for ‘All Good Gifts’ in harmony and then I panic – have I been eating badly? Do I have to change my diet too? Utterly self-absorbed, I know. But I’ll need to eat healthily before we have children. And I ought to eat healthily for my stamina now. Maybe I have tricked myself into comfort-eating in each month of the year – November, because the nights are drawing in. December, for Christmas. January, because it’s January and eating takes the blues away. February, before half-term. March, to celebrate Easter. April, with longer days. May, my birthday, and half term stamina. June, because the school term is dragging. July, to last until the holidays. August, because August is the holidays. September, to celebrate returning to school. October, to see us through to the break.

Resolution – must eat more healthily. 

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What else to remember? Remembrance Day is approaching and I need a poppy. Grandad fought in Caen, but came home early. I’m glad he did, or we may not have been here, heart condition or not. Grandpa (my mum’s dad) fought in the Indian Ocean. He was interested in our trip to Sri Lanka this year. So many things to remember.

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