I took my son out to the forest today and got lost on the way there. This is not typical of me as I usually have no problem memorising a route or remembering it. Before finding our way, we did stop at the excellent Snape Maltings for a picnic my husband insisted we take, where we entertained and fed a brown blackbird (female? juvenile?) and tried the ‘going in shops’ thing again, which with the help of a 3 year old I can manage for about 4-5 minutes before needing to get back outside. (It is reassuring in an odd way to me, because it proves I am not right in my head and all the inconveniences, kind words and prayers are about something real). Thankfully we found a great play area there I hadn’t seen before where Joe insisted on writing the weather forecast.
As you can tell, it is going to rain. The irony of admitting depression with mad sunny weather about is not lost on me, and God knows me well enough to know that humour is likely to be part of the solution. I am enjoying the sun and the warmth despite myself and despite worrying all day about how Toddlers was going. It helped having a little hero around too, to be fair.
But it also helps when I notice what my Big Hero is doing too. Away from the families, the noise and the traffic, this leapt out at me in my four minutes inside a deli in Snape. Deeply gratifying, and I couldn’t have seen that coming.
(And yes, there are red, amber and green jams in the same jar).