I just read Lily’s Bible notes with her, and read this verse in the Good News version:
He will take care of his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs together
and carry them in his arms;
he will gently lead their mothers.
We were in Herefordshire in 2007 when I was three months pregnant with Lily, staying on a farm with my parents. There was a ewe (number 9 I recall) who was particularly protective of her lambs. I understand that feeling now. And I understand her fear. Her need to be kept safe and to keep her precious family safe.
This evening I met for an assessment with a counsellor from the local Christian counselling service. They recognised my need for counselling and have put me on their list: hopefully a space will come up after the summer. Being listened to by someone who understands my background was very helpful. One of the things that came out of the discussion was the need to not only find positives (like this series of tools I’m working on), but also to carefully look at the painful things and mental habits I’ve got into which need addressing. This gentle shepherding promises to be a healing experience I think.