Yesterday I blogged about a health professional telling me I was a perfectionist with low self-esteem and I was angry. Me? Perfectionist? I’m not good enough to be a perfectionist!
Click.
It is one thing to be honest with others. It keeps us accountable. It uncovers pain and begins the healing. For some, like me, being public about depression is part of the accountability, but a lot of people have talked to me of their private journeys, so it doesn’t suit everyone.
However, I am learning that it is right for me to start being more honest with myself. That this is one of the keys to unlocking the mess in my head. And that when the mess is unlocked I can find new models or solutions which will help me (a) function in society and (b) be all that God wants me to be.
I have actively resisted noting things down about how things really are, for fear that I cannot or that it would be too hard to fix. Noting this here makes me accountable to this and so I will begin this journey.
I am particularly grateful for prayers yesterday: after I blogged I got several messages and also felt a sense of peace around me which was not from me. God is holding me tight, and he is big enough to carry all my burdens.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
jam and giraffes 
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