Angry Language

I am angry like a headache before a storm

I am angry like a child whose toy is taken

I am angry angry don’t interrupt me don’t misread me don’t don’t don’t I am angry

If you were angry like me you would pull until something tears

If you were angry like me you would smash until something breaks

But I am angry and I want to pull and smash myself until I break down in tears or torn

Because I don’t want my angry to be your angry too and I will carry you and your fears until I have no strength to be angry and no time to be angry

Today a man in town was angry he was cutting bricks he cut himself I never heard a man with language so angry outside a prison people commented to me he was so angry his language was not strong it was weak it was not diluted the children did not hear I don’t know how I am grateful but I am angry that he was angry

Today I realised I am only me again and I am angry for that I cannot hold my head up with others who do brave relentless courageous things some of them are paid too and my fears are not for carrying they are not a big deal when I tell people because I dare not tell my real fears they might be more angry with me

Today I understood that I do not know about making a hippopotamus and I am angry about that too not even a mouse although I have no room for large animals and I cannot have a mouse because of the asthma and that makes me angry too it is disturbing what range of things make me angry

For example I am angry about my bills and I am angry about disasters in Japan

I am angry about my house being a building site and I am angry about slow progress in Haiti

I am angry about selfishness and I am angry about trees coming down in the neighbourhood

I am angry about missed opportunities and I am angry about both children waking so often each night

I am angry about injustices around me and I am angry about torture, terrorism and tyranny beyond

When I am angry I want to use words not those weak anglosaxon words of shock but strong words battering like Job tell me tell me tell me no I just want you I just want you to know me do you see me do you hear me do you know my limits thus far and no further do my limits make you angry too I can’t answer you will you answer me and all of us if all our angry was added up would it make you quake do you feel angry too when we are shaken will you use our angry to do peace?

Now all my angry has passed and it is not mine I give it to you I wanted to just spend words and the angry is softened but the passion remains and I want a good night’s sleep and start again in the morning