Inventing Sports

In this country we are good at inventing sports for other people to beat us at.

Maybe the Olympic organisers ought to be asking local villages in the UK what they would include in the 2012 bonus features. Cheese-rolling (Men’s 200m) or Bog-snorkelling (coxless)? Even darts was under serious consideration I believe. Don’t they understand darts are bad for your health? And also dart-related injuries, such as drinking, smoking and sitting around with greasy food. In my opinion, all sport is bad for health, as proved by Sporting Injuries.

On a completely unrelated topic, I believe America (United States of) are good at inventing sports no one else wants to be beaten at. If you want to be a real empire, you gotta mark out a few pitches and start a few leagues. However, they are Real Sportsmenandwomen, and take beating other people a lot more seriously than we do. So we can be sure that London 2012 will not be dominated by British talent in the same way that China dominated 2008 or the US dominated almost every other Olympic games this side of Ancient Greece.

Why doesn’t China invent a few sports?

Maybe they should invent more technology. I feel that is the way it may go. However, in the West we have an insatiable dual appetite for entertainment and ridiculing our politicians, which may be our downfall. Take a look at this, for example. If you are not already aware of the phenomenon that is Autotune the News you may be a little confused. Hopefully you will find some humour in it. In any case, let’s not recommend this sort of thing to any passing Olympic Committee. It isn’t quite the thing.

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