Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It is never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa-

I needed this quote today. This year has been unrelenting for various reasons. I have noticed a difference between paid work and parenting: parenting is equally thankless at times, but you can’t argue with how utterly important it is. I am humbled to be a parent.

At the beginning of next month I will finish my job at the college, so I have one unofficial lesson with my evening class and one unofficial lesson with my daytime class still to do. Before all that it is half term. I am excited at the moment as we are preparing to take Lily on her first flight towards the end of the week. My college in Prague is holding a 60th anniversary reunion. Our connection is only really since 2000, but it will be great to catch up with academics and fellow students there and introduce them to Lily.

And after all this? A short trip to France coming up in June to recharge the batteries. A summer working on the house and contemplating the next moves in life. Campaigning? Writing? Parenting? Tutoring? Some decisions need to be taken, and I wanted to finish work to give them my full attention. It scares me sometimes. What does God want me to do? Will I be as willing as I want to be?

I often – no, always – need to feel affirmed in what I do. The older I get the more realistic I get about this, but I do feel the need to cuddle Lily often and feel that she wants to cuddle me back.  And sometimes she doesn’t. In the future she won’t always. But even after she says she doesn’t want to cuddle me any more, somewhere inside a part of her always will. I need to hold on to that anyway.