All I know about medicine

When I was little I hated Lucozade, because it reminded me of being ill. Dad, on the other hand, has suggested to me that Lucozade was the high point of one of his two stays in hospital as a small boy and almost enough to encourage him to be ill more often. Being an eldest child I doubt he used that much to his own advantage.

These days I like Lucozade, and will even drink alternative brands for refreshment after pushing a pram back uphill from town.

So when I got ill at the weekend I thought it would do me good to have some. Fluids, energy, that sort of thing.

No. Lucozade is now bad for you if you are ill with a tummy upset, as the sugars make it worse. My brain is still not entirely back on form, so I cannot explain this. Various people have tried. I am not good at chemistry and am not even my own best doctor – I am the sort of person who nods at all the advice and then forgets to keep sipping water and rest.

Probably sipping water has a shelf life too – ask me again when my brain has been rehydrated and re-energised.

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