To apply for this post, you will need to know how to do the following:
hold a baby; find 50 uses for a large cardboard box; tie a granny knot (granny not included); run a bath in the right order; give words of reassurance to female relatives; organise, use and clean a kitchen; light and put out fires; change a tyre on a bicycle; apply plasters with faces on; remove stains from anything lying under an altitude of 1 metre, find space on the fridge door for ‘official’ artwork; think in cm as well as inches; tell a story.
You should also own:
a stick for stirring paint; a dictionary (French); a bird box or two, a number of Werther’s Originals; a car, a DIY book and a kit for making wine.
jam and giraffes 